Category Archives: General

If Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus…

men are from mars women are from venus
If men are from mars and women are from venus then my husband is from pluto

then my husband is definitely from Pluto!

The infamous and definitive relationship guide written by John Gray dispells the myths that marriages can work successfully and harmoniously as long as communication works and is in the same language.

This is my version of why Men are from Mars and women are from venus and why men seem to have this amazing propensity to wind women up to cataclysmic rather than orgasmic heights!

My recent debacle on Monday night with my beloved compelled me to write my version on why I believe men are from another planet.

Here’s what happened on a recent Monday night!

After a long working day, picking up the children from School I look forward to Monday night’s because it is the only day we arrive home at 5PM, aka respectable time and it means there are only 4 days left of the working week or if you are a working mother like me then 6 days.

Big M my husband graciously does the weekly food shopping!

Yes, shock and horror I hear you say but he learned very early on in our relationship that if he wasn’t going to starve  he would have to do it.

Instead of me complaining how hideously expensive everything is and that he never goes shopping, I get the groans about the cost of food items and I don’t suffer the “you never buy this or that” so it suits both parties.

The prospect of fighting my way through the supermarket in search of is not my idea of fun.

I prefer a tooth extraction than to be subjected to women fighting over who got there first, in fact I get heart palpitations at the thought of shopping.

I should point out he loves doing it, he calls it his downtime?

Anyway back to the Monday in question.

We’ve been sampling these rather marvellous pre-made meat puddings from Waitrose.

Something that for once doesn’t require me making, preparing or doing anything.

Cooking bliss just pop in the oven for 35 minutes serve with potatoes and veggies.

At 6PM I get a call from Big M, he’s on the Motorway travelling back from London. I ask him “would you like me to put your dinner on?”

“No” came back the response “I don’t know what the traffic is going to be like on the M1. If the pud takes takes 35 minutes then I can take a shower when I get in and not have to rush”.

Simply put don’t put dinner into the oven until I get in.

I hear a shout from upstairs from one of my children that Dad has arrived home. As I was in the throes of baking a cake in went the meat pudding.

And this is what happened next…

Big M : Hi everyone, how’s your day been, where’s my dinner? – the inference was with a slightly sarcastic tone as he walked into the kitchen.

This is how I interpret the above comment:

Typical, I’ve been working all day and you haven’t got my dinner yet? 

Forget the fact I run a business, ferry the children back and forth to school, am responsible for their education, take them to their after school activities four times a week, remember who does what, when, where, cooks, washes, cleans, can’t claim ironing actually that one’s outsourced.

Provide emotional, physical and mental support to and in no particular order, children, husband, friends, co-workers, postman, milkman.

God I’m exhausted just writing this…

And the dinner wasn’t ready OMG call United Nations and sack me now as a wife mother and lover (last one debatable)

Me: Hi hun, dinner’s in the oven it will be another 30 minutes or so.

This is what I’m processing: you did tell me you complete a**e-h**e to wait to put the dinner on until you got home! Give me that bread knife now and don’t get any closer to me.. grrrr.

Big M: Great I come home from a long day and there’s no dinner. By the way what’s going with it.

Me: Nothing yet.

Now beginning to seethe with anger. Like he’s the only one that works around here and contributes to the greater good. 

Sometimes the connection between men and women just misses.
I sometimes feel I get a better response from my kitchen walls.

P-L-E-A-S-E.

Big M: Great nice to know you care about me.

I’m thinking: Oh for god sake Mr “I am so emotionally dependent”, grow up.

Me: Thanks for that. How about peas?

Big M: What about Potatoes?

Me: Do you need potatoes? I thought you wanted to cut back on carbs aka waistline.

Big M: don’t appreciate the back handed comment, thanks a lot. Forget it I’ll get my own dinner sorted???

At this point I remain calm but in my head I’m screaming damned if I do damned if I don’t I try to look out for you and now I’m being criticised for referencing potatoes to your waistline. Next week you’ll be asking me to be strict with what you eat and drink, funny how the pendulum swings.

Clearly you’ve had a bad day! When have you ever gone without dinner and what’s got into you anyway. I’ve had a busy day too and if your not happy MOVE OUT.

We’ve gone from a peaceful and contented evening with kids upstairs doing homework to the potential outbreak of WW3 in my kitchen.

But then it goes from bad to worse because he says:

“What’s the matter with you why are you in a bad mood?

(Do I need semaphore to explain why I’m p****d off.)

All I asked is why dinner wasn’t ready… god do we have to repeat this again”.

And this is the cliff hanger because he then says:

“it must be the HRT tablets making you moody”.

Tell me why is that men have to reference how women react or behave to a set of pills we might be taking for an ailment or because we are MENOPAUSAL or, at that “special time of the month again”.

Funny because before Big M walked in I was feeling really rather happy!

Sending my man on a rocket back to Pluto
Can you go back from where you came from please?

Men we can’t live with them and we can’t live without them.

Until my next run in with Big M!

Do you have the same communication issues with your partner? Do you feel that sometimes you may as well be talking to the wall?

Please share your funny, sad, serious moments with us we would love to know.

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Why are holidays fraught with stress?

Why do holidays cause tension and stress?
Holidays are suppose to be relaxing, stress free and tranquil?

What is it about a family holiday that makes it fraught with tension and stress leaving you worn out at the end of it?

I know I am not alone because many of our friends reveal that they too come back feeling they need another holiday to get over the one they’ve just had.

Following a recent vacation to Spain I reflected on the aftermath of the holiday which went something like this.

We were so tired that when the Easter term holiday finally arrived the four of us practically through our luggage on to the plane so desperate were we to head for some sunshine, warmth and rest.

The day we arrived the weather at our destination was warmer than the snow and ice we’d left at London Luton Airport early that morning and as we went to collect our hire car and set off on our journey to the apartment I could feel that tension start to melt away.

The kids were snoozing and listening to their iPods in the back of the car and my husband and I chatted about the last few weeks and reflected upon how nice it was to actually have some time together instead of seemingly passing each other in the house like two ships leaving a port.

And that’s where the tension started.

Silly things like driving the car whilst checking the mobile phone.

At home our cars have hands free although I condone the use of using mobiles whilst driving after all what is so life threateningly important you have to use the mobile when driving.

As the journey continued I became increasingly annoyed with him every five minutes checking the mobile phone for emails and text messages.

And, as any good woman would do, I offered to drive.

Back came the answer “aren’t I driving properly then?”

“No!” came the retort.

Holidays and families = frustration
Holidays result in a high concentration of time with family members. Their habits become very irritating.

Having had an exhausting seven weeks leading to this vacation and having left home at 3:45am naturally I was concerned for the safety of us all and this was in no way being disrespectful to my husband who is a good and responsible driver.

But for god sake what is so crucial that the mobile had to be checked so often.

That was my first disgrace and ‘rebuffment’ for bad behaviour.

When we arrived at the apartment it was clean and in an excellent state we usually have a number of chores that we give our children to do including washing hands, unpacking their cases and carry ons and putting their clothes in wardrobes.

I have a very specific job that is to delegate the tasks, unpack and get the linen and beds made.

Simple right?

Wrong!

Here lies the start of the holiday stress.

Children by their very nature have a selective hearing problem they are excited and want to get out and about they don’t want to stay cooped up in a flat when the sun is shining let a lone listen to a list of orders being barked out by tired parents.

Simple jobs become a marathon and a challenge to complete especially if you are a pubescent 13 year old, an irritable tired 9 year old, factor in a 45+ short of patience, quickly irritated father.

Mr M (my husband) has a short fuse when it comes to patience and is easily irritated.

His impatience was further exacerbated by our apparent lack of speed we were applying to our tasks, myself included.

The best way of describing this scenario is liking it to Vesuvius – a slow eruption emanating a sticky froth building to an almighty explosion.

UN flags depicting diplomacy for mothers who keep the peace on vacation
If the UN gave out medals for diplomacy I’d definitely be up there along with millions of other Mothers who lay claim to keeping the peace on vacation.

If the U.N. were handing out medals for family diplomacy going above and beyond then I’m pretty damn sure I’d be up there I suspect with millions of other mothers for the sheer effort I show gritting my teeth and calming the situation.

I watch in frustration at the way this relationship between my two boys and husband deteriorates into a war of words and a constant nagging to get a move on.

Invariably the tension escalates into a riot of words. Then I ask or rather request Mr M should chilax, ease off and actually leave the apartment and get a beer.

My 9 year old steps in showing overt diplomatic skills and I see a career in the diplomatic service beckoning as he shouts”shut up everyone and just stop moaning!”

I, on the other hand follow Stephen Covey’s 7 habits of highly effective people and I strongly recommend you read it.

Habit 2: begin with the end in mind and habit 3: put first things first, both seem to strike a chord with me at this point.

By all working together as a team the quicker we get jobs done the quicker we are on the move.

In simple terms it means if you help me I help you and everyone wins.

No one’s time is compromised and no one misses out because we all get to finish and get out at the same time.

This in my house-hold along with the 4th habit “win win” is my utopian ideal. But we are long way from that.

Like many working house-holds in the UK when faced with this large concentration of time, 24/7 suddenly becomes a real challenge to get through each and every day without some part of the holiday home becoming a war zone and maintaining peace and harmony is the equivalent of finding gold.

During a normal week, if anyone has a normal week step up here please and tell me or better still show me now.

Families are on an invisible treadmill of school, work and routine.

The majority of house-holds during school/working week will have some perceived routine. Ours is no different in fact it starts when we leave home at 7:30 with my husband often leaving much earlier than us.

A family holiday means a massive concentration of time together and for the majority sharing accommodation significantly smaller than our own homes.

Factor in accumulated tiredness which seems to manifest itself when you grind to a halt at the start of your holiday = no patience or time for each other so naturally irritability escalates like the national debt.

You really get to see and experience first hand each other’s foibles which during a normal working week don’t appear to be quite so annoying.

Picture depicting a happy family enjoying themselves
Families are on this invisible treadmill of work, school, routine that when a holiday it all grinds to a halt leaving tempers frayed.

My 13 year old tries to take on the role of adult by scolding his younger brother mostly to get him into trouble.

There’s my nine year old who considers winding up his 13 year old brother and getting him in to trouble a national sport.

My husband who just gets irritated when anyone of us talks and god forbid someone speaks when he’s on that mobile phone again.

Finally there’s me. I think I’m the only sane and patient person in our household. (Debatable)

The working school week combined has to run like clockwork in order for the majority of us leave to be able to leave on time in the morning.

Working lives have become a grinding treadmill one that has become increasingly difficult to jump off. Factor in the economic climate and many are working longer and harder than ever before leaving the majority of us exhausted.

When a vacation finally arrives we simply are devoid of giving to each other anything that remotely resembles human decency.

In fact I’m exhausted reading this!

Therefore using my infinite wisdom, I came up with some top tips for great family holiday’s.

  • a successful family holiday should involve going to the same destination but each member of the family staying in different hotels
  • invest in a serious decent set of groovy noise reduction headphones that way you switch off and tune out to any arguments, shouting or abuse
  • make alternate holiday arrangements for the kids like PGL or a kids adventure holiday, that way they can’t be blamed for anything or get in the middle of anything. Better still book yourself into an adventure holiday and learn sky diving or mountaineering
  • leave spouse at home or get him/her to stay in alternate accommodation
  • book the kids into alternate accommodation
  • ban holidays altogether and stay at home that way you can make several day trips and if war should break out only one day is ruined rather than several whilst the family take sides as to who did what to who and when!
  • Finally, leave them all at home and go on your own holiday my preferred choice!

What do you think? Are holidays a necessary evil? Do they give us more grief than rest?

Share with me your thoughts don’t be shy.

Tell me about the worst or the best vacation you’ve ever had?

Was it with the family or on your own?

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Honesty IS the best policy isn’t it?

Honesty Policy
Honesty really IS the best policy?

I adopted an “honesty is the best policy” approach a few years ago, in fact a good many years ago.

Some people might call it bluntness or tactlessness I just call it being honest. Why should I fib?

This philosophy stems from “if you ask me an honest question you will get an honest and truthful answer”.

I have found that since I’ve entered my 40’s it is simpler to tell it as it is, my husband calls it crankiness and hormonal.

I feel better and true to myself by being honest.

My candour if you can call it that has reduced friends to laughter, tears, horror and admiration for my blatant honesty.

“Tact” was a regularly used word in our household when I was growing up. I thought it was the sticky bit that held my David Cassidy poster firmly to my bedroom wall.

I didn’t want to say things that were untrue and that I would carry around on my shoulders for days later festering over something I had been asked and had replied dishonestly.

In the past I would have listened to the girl friend rant on about how badly her kids treat her or how the husband simply refuses to pick up his underpants and put them in the laundry bin.

Answer 1: You show no discipline and you always give into your kids why are you surprised when they scream and shout at you, they don’t have any boundaries because you never say NO or punish them.

Response: Shock and bewilderment.

Answer 2: Simple. Burn them or empty them in to a plastic bag by monday morning when he realises he’s out of pants give him the smelly bag and say “there you go love dirty pants just as you left them, when you can be bothered to pick them up and put them in the laundry basket like I ask, then I’ll be bothered to wash them for you”.

Response: Laughter.

Recently I had the following scenarios to contend with and this was my response:-

Your hairstyle looks like someone has placed a christmas pudding bowl over the top and cut round it with a pair of scissors, poofed it up to convince you its a hair cut. Guess what it’s NOT.

Even my mother has a trendier hair style than you and she’s 75! By the way it’s never been in date!

When asked do you like my hairstyle it’s new!

Response: speechlessness!

Darling I badly need to make love to you!

Sweetie let me tell you something, you do!

Response: laughter.

You don’t get to seventeen years of marriage and not laugh about sex.

You’ve got tree trunk legs, DON’T wear short skirts. When asked do you think I still look good in short skirts.

You are now 45 you’ve never looked good in short skirts! You are slim but you’ve got chubby legs what in god’s name possesses you to wear such short skirts when you’d be better off wearing pencil shirts or a more relaxed style of skirt.

Response: I can’t believe you said that to me! Is that what you really think? YES!

Now let me take you shopping and let’s find some really lovely outfits that will suit you better!

You may be spitting nails at this point. I must be a nasty friend right? Possibly, but am I fair? Absolutely!

Because there is never any maliciousness implied in my responses.

Honesty
Why spend years telling people what they want to hear, being honest means being true to yourself.

Why spend years telling people what you think they want to hear. Surely it’s better to be honest and be a good friend rather than be dishonest and an untrue friend.

My honesty policy works both ways if you’re honest then you need to be able to take it when it’s dished out to you too and believe you me it is.

 

 

For years I was invited to family, social events or dinner parties that frankly I just didn’t want to go to either because I knew it was going to be expensive, boring or a waste of time.

When I am asked to do something or to go somewhere it’s simply a lot more straightforward to say no thanks rather than come up with a feeble excuse to get out of the social engagement.

People ask you questions they want answers to but don’t expect you be frank in your response, nor do they want it.

So why ask it in the first place?

When I started down this route of being honest a beautiful blonde and bouncy girlfriend who was verging on the obese asked me if I thought she was fat.

She regularly attended the gym and weight watchers club, in fact, she was the fattest fit person I had ever come across.

My retort was yes, that she did need to lose a lot of weight otherwise she was putting her health at serious risk.

In fairness she had asked me on a number of occasions about her weight and I had always been candid.

This time I decided that now was the right time to tell her that she is obese and despite her efforts at the gym and weight watchers she clearly wasn’t achieving her goal of losing weight which could only mean she wasn’t trying hard enough or she was cheating herself by not following her diet plan.

I went on further and said that as a friend I would do all that I could to help her, as I had been doing, like calling her mid morning, lunch and late afternoon so see how she was getting on during the day. Giving her the confidence to kick the eating habit.

She was honest enough to share with me what she ate during the day and it was all bad foods namely chocolate which negated the affects of the diet. She told me that what she was doing was trying to fool herself into thinking she was sticking to a weight loss plan.

One night when we went out to dinner, clearly upset, she had a second piece of chocolate mud pie, through it she said “it’s alright for you you’re skinny”.

Actually I’m not, I do work out, I am fit and a size 10, but I certainly don’t fall into the Lily Cole bracket.

I explained that because I work out and watch what I eat. At 5′ 2″ anyone of my stature will pile on the pounds if they eat all day.

I wasn’t mean or bitchy in fact the opposite I wanted to help her because she had asked for my help and she was a great pal.

After our dinner, surprisingly, she didn’t call me, despite numerous calls and messages.

Sadly, my candour was too much to bear and I didn’t hear from her again, which saddened me as we had been friends for over 8 years!

At the time I reflected on the loss of that friendship because it hurt me deeply.

I came to the same conclusion, surely true friends should be able to point out home truths and tell it as it is without feeling somehow they are the wronged party.

I don’t want relationships based on insincere and banal flattery where I am telling deliberate white lies, fibs, or porkie pies just to make someone else feel better about themselves.

My friends say I have built a reputation of “she takes no prisoners” but it’s been a liberating experience. My true friends know what they see is largely what they get and as for the friendships I’ve lost, well, true friends stick with each other through “sick and sin”.

Of the friendships I’ve lost? Honestly, if they can’t accept a few home truths when asked then frankly the friendships were destined never to last the test of time after all!

Integrity and honesty are considered a virtue and social ideal.
Integrity and honesty are considered a virtue and social ideal.

Honesty in life, marriage, partnerships, business and friendships can be difficult but being sincere and acting with integrity you remain true to yourself and to others.

Surely that’s not a bad philosophy to have.

What do you think? Are you honest and true with your friends? Do you agree with me or have I got it wrong?

Drop a comment in to the box and share your thoughts.

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Boomerang children. Do our children ever stop needing us?

Much has been written about empty nest syndrome the feeling of loss that strikes the heart and soul of many a parent when the first child leaves home for University, work or to travel the world.

Do our children still need us?
Do our children still need us?

Moving on and moving out are probably the most important steps teenagers take into the world having been reasonably cosseted at home for the first eighteen years.

It’s a big step for them as it moves them toward adulthood and independence and although the move is a physical one for the children, for the parents it is emotional as they are left with feelings of loss and emptiness not too dissimilar to grief.

Celia Cochrane, 64 and a mother of 3 sons says “although its a long time ago I do remember the feeling of emptiness. It was hard for the other 2 boys especially Adam, my youngest who was left behind after my two eldest went off to University”.

Deborah Burgoine, 49 is recently coming to terms with her 18 year old daughter going to University “it’s really hard, even now I miss her despite the rows but our relationship seems closer since she’s been away. But from age 13-17 our household was like a teenage war zone”.

With spiralling tuition fees many students leave further education in debt and with the long dispelled myth that a degree doesn’t lead to a highly paid job and with many graduates competing for very few jobs, attaining the first step on the property ladder almost impossible, parents are faced with the sobering thought that the children they said good bye to three to four years ago are returning to the family home.

In fact approximately 1.7 million people between the age of 20 and 40 are living with their parents as a result of further education debt and the crippling cost of property.

23 year olds returning to the family home after higher education are unlikely to leave before they are 26 years.

A situation that places strain on both parents and children. No parent expects to see the return of their offspring even for a short hiatus but the facts are that one in four of 2011 graduates had part-time jobs six months after having graduated and one in ten were unemployed.

But have the new modern parents made it too easy for their offspring to return to the nest? The “helicopter parent” that hovers over their children throughout primary and secondary schooling has resulted in a new generation of children unable or incapable of becoming self sufficient.

Parents are guilty of not pushing their children into independence. Washing, ironing, cleaning and providing the parent taxi service to take them everywhere means they’ve become dependent on parents making them ill-equipped to handle the reality that is real life.

Leaving aside the stark economic facts, this new generation of “boomerang kids” have an inflated sense of self worth which is not compatible with the realities of the current world we live.

Many of these students believe they are so talented and that employers would be foolish to overlook them, in short, they feel they can walk into any high paying job at the expense of years of experience.

Unfortunately when reality bites they seek someone to blame, the University for ‘misleading them’ into believing a job at the end of the study period is a for gone conclusion or parents and teachers for some how hoodwinking them.

This boomerang generation believes its 'entitled' to a great paying job straightaway.
This boomerang generation believes its ‘entitled’ to a great paying job straightaway.

This generation of ‘entitlement’ means that when life doesn’t quite pan out how they hoped they look to the family home for support often into their thirties.

The Office for National Statistics estimates three million young people are presently living with their parents, this inter-generational living is influenced by money.

The perception that children are independent from the age of eighteen is a fallacy because the evidence supports that many are relying on parents both practically and financially well into their 20s.

The harsh reality is that at some point your children will leave the nest; it is the next step for children emotionally and physically.

But for the parents it is quite different.

You want them to seek their own independence, career, family and happiness and when they need advice or help you hope they look to you.

As much as we love our children and we want to do the best we can for them, you hope this doesn’t result in permanent residency in the parental home.

What do you think? Are you a parent that has children residing at home? Do you like the fact they are there with you or are you helping them out because that’s what good parents do? Let us know what you think.

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Fake Food – Food for thought?

If we can’t trust our own food manufacturers and purveyors of the foods we buy weekly during our weekly shop then whom do we trust?

With the recent revelation that a large percentage of the UK’s meat products contain horse meat what else has been allowed to enter our food chain?

What IS really in our foods?
What IS really in our foods?

You might be left wondering where does it all end?

Food fraud which is affecting anything from olive oil to tuna and fruit juices has now been exposed to contain less than what we would expect to find in olive oil or the fruit juices we drink (Source: The Daily Mail 26th January 2013)

Extra virgin olive oil is being diluted with cheaper vegetable oil and even tea bags have been found to contain not just tea but lawn grass or fern leaves to bulk out the product.

According to US experts there has been a 60 per cent rise in cases of faked food.

The US Pharmacopeial Convention, an independent scientific body has discovered that some manufacturers are secretly adding cheap pear and grape juice to pomegranate juices.

The problem of faked food has been brought to the public attention in the US however, these fake food products are being sold in the UK.

Shockingly, british food experts have found that honey, organic meat, cheese, eggs and even our beloved fish and chips are not what they first seem.

According to Andy Foster, Director of policy at the Trading Standards Institute: ‘in times of recession and when people are looking for a bargain, you start to find more food fraud’.

In times of recession the family shop is often the first to be cut back on.

Shoppers re-evaluate where they shop and the prodcuts they buy often substituting the luxury version with the supermarkets own brand.

Shoppers are looking to cut back on spiralling food costs but not at the expense of quality.

We rely on the integrity of our food producers and supermarkets to make sure we are eating what it says on the outside of the carton.
We rely on the integrity of our food producers and supermarkets to make sure we are eating what it says on the outside of the carton.

The public rely on the integrity of the supermarket chains, we entrust them to make sure that at the very least the right quality and care is apportioned to the food we eat and that we know exactly what we are eating.

Without the food facts how can we make an informed choice about the foods we ingest?

You can’t help wondering if there is any correlation between ingredients within foodstuffs versus an increase in the number of children that appear to suffer with food related allergies.

Food for thought…

What do you think? Are you worried about what you are really eating? Does anyone actually know what they are really eating?

Leave a comment in the box to share your view.

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Can men handle pain better than women?

A group of scientists were determined to establish if the pain threshold of a man is greater than womens. iStock_000012625418Small

Can men handle pain better than women? P-L-E-A-S-E!

Men have never experienced the pain of child birth or Caesarean section for that matter. God never made them that way because he knew right from the creation of Adam and Eve; that when Eve tempted Adam with her body men were destined never to stand up to the test of physical or emotional pain inflicted by women.

If this is now a scientific fact explain why when I accidentally drove over my husband’s foot he reacted like his foot had been severed, oh and did I mention he was wearing protective work boots at the time too!

Researchers at the Leeds Metropolitan University discovered that men are able to endure pain and hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.

Whereas women express themselves more readily we are able to show our feelings by crying when we are in pain or screaming when we bang into something.

Of course we do it’s not science it bloody well hurts that’s why we are able to express ourselves more readily.

If you bang your head against an open door above you or knock your funny bone on your elbow what’s the first thing you do?

Scream and shout at the object that inflicted pain and then slam the darn thing shut or kick it because it makes you feel better nothing macho about keeping quiet.

Dr Tashani, a pain scientist recruited 200 british and libyan volunteers for his study and measured sensitivity, endurance and willingness to report pain over a period of two years.

iStock_000008785500SmallTwo pain inducing procedures were introduced the first involved being jabbed in the hand with a 1cm wide blunt tip and the second pain inducing experiment involved holding their hand above their head with a cuff attached to restrict the blood flow.

The experiment proved that men had higher pain thresholds than women and men reported less pain intensity than the females in the study.

The volunteers were libyan and british. The libyan participants were able to endure more pain than their english counterparts.

Why am I not surprised by this finding.

The libyans have been invaded, bombed, beaten, tortured, starved and had until last October 2011, been ruled by a ruthless dictator Gaddafi clearly they can sustain pain longer than their british counterparts.

Compare the study to that of the british participants who have a state that provides free hand outs, houses, excellent benefits and comfortable living conditions for anyone who chooses not to work. Try blowing us up and starving us to death and see how long we can bear the pain?

It’s a no brainer!

I remain unconvinced with the methods that were used to inflict pain which is why I know it could only have been an experiment manufactured by a man of course after all if a woman had been conducting the expriement her two likely chosen pain inducers would be a swift kick to the preverbal guaranteed to bring tears to their eyes and the other, not a physical inducer but an emotional one something like:

“Darling, you aren’t the best lover I’ve ever had?”

The ultimate take your breath away pain inflictor!

Which proves that women are capable of dishing out pain but we can also manage it too!

What do you think? Go on leave a comment this is mean’t to be a fun blog.

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Why we need firm leadership at No.10

iStock_000014861801Small

When the coalition Government was voted in to power in June 2010 I for one viewed it optimistically for two reasons:

  • Two heads have got to be better than one
  • Certainly better than the prospect of a Labour Government that admitted to having left behind a catastrophic trail of economic blunders and destruction in their wake

But it appears to be proving difficult.

Why?

What the country lacks is firm and decisive leadership.

As a business owner-manager the start of 2012 hearalded a feeling of optimism; the tide was beginning to turn albeit slowly.

There was a perception that businesses were ready to start making and taking decisions but it all fell foul when the greek crisis reared its ubiquitous head, business owners were left shaken.

From that point on, seemingly the economy ground to a halt.

Simply put, nothing in the world happens until a sale is made.

This may sound glib, but it is true.

Until company A makes a decision to part with money and buy from company B then the process of buying and selling stagnates. When?

This isn’t rocket science.

British businesses need to see a parting of the sea and have confidence in the economy before spending. When that happens the UK will edge out of the recession it finds itself in.

It may well take until 2015-18 before we see and experience an improvement.

A lot can happen in five years, wars can start and end, businesses can come and go, Katie Price will be married and divorced again.

What we need is a new age of enterprise, individuals, entrepreneurs and companies willing to take risk and be bold.

Sadly no decisions are being made and this appears to be reflected at the door of No.10.

If businesses perceive a lack of rigour, a lack of decisiveness and see bureaucratic paper shufflers and a dragging of heels in Government, businesses wont have the confidence or motivation to make business decisions through fear and uncertainty.

Why does every decison in this country seem to take such an eternity to come to fruition?

We can’t get rid of a terrorist – Abu Hamza who resides in our beloved country yet we find it impossible to grant an application to stay in Britain to a former british army soldier from Jamaica who served in the 1st Royal Tank Regiment.

Seriously have those in government lost their marbles. Those in the highest office seem incapable of being able to make clear and concise judgements without having to debate it for what seems like an eternity.

1,000 indecisions (source: The Daily Mail)

What time should an ice cream van turn off its musical chimes?

Should pig movements be recorded electronically or on paper?

How much do people like eating scallops?

Is this really the best that our coalition government can do?

Steve Hilton, the prime minister’s former policy advisor reportedly stated in the Sunday Times that No. 10 hears about policy changes being made via the media in the inference being that the PM is making decisions but they are not being implemented by WhiteHall.

Not a good advert for a government determined to push through social change, tackle the national debt and create a more family orientated society.

With all these ‘special advisors’ for ice cream van chimes, pig movements and debates over whether the public prefer scallops over fish fingers, the civil servants must be so weary trying to weigh up these life changing decisions.

If business owners took that long to make a business decision they wouldn’t be in business.

If politicians show decisiveness and determination even in the face of strong oppostion or adversity then this has a domino affect and permeates in to businesses.

Boris Johnson said in his speech at the Tory conference in October 2012:

“We need to go forward now from the age of excess under Labour, through the age of auterity to a new age of enterprise in which we do what we did in the Olympics and build a world-beating platform for Britain for British people and businesses to compete and win and we need to do it now under the Conservatives and it begins here”

iStock_000008266083SmallIf 51% of the decisions made are right and the remaining 49% wrong or don’t work out as hoped then that isn’t failure.

Discuss it, agree it, move on to the next decision.

Umm I can’t make up my mind, can you?

What do you think? How are you finding business? Drop me a line and let me know what influences your decision making?

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