Tag Archives: Life Changing Moments

Just because I’m 50 doesn’t mean I’m dead YET. How to stay young at 50

Divorce
50 represents a milestone for men and women alike often resulting in a desire to unleash the ‘inner you’

I’ve never been a big worrier when it comes to my height, size of my boobs and the size of my feet.

Recently as I edge ever closer to the big ‘5 0′ I am feeling overwhelmed about the enormity of the age.

I know it’s only a number and the old adage you’re only as old or young as you feel’ rings true but there is a sense of finality about 50. As one good friend recently said to me it’s the gateway to old age, gateway to hell more like!

Cheers, thanks for that I hadn’t quite looked at 50 as my gateway to hell, I hope it will be the pearly gates of heaven.

After all, isn’t the sixth decade when ‘we’ come into our own, prioritising the needs of the family and husband is finally behind us. Hopefully we are calmer, more relaxed and at peace with the inner-self.

The challenges of teenagers, school runs and the provision of late night taxi services are all but over and the prospect of looking forward to quality time with a husband looms large and wide.

Fay Weldon accomplished author says’ women in their 50’s instigate divorce because they are bored and want to be single again.’ Divorce statistics show women in the 50-plus age group are ditching marriages to remarry, travel, set up home independently or start new careers.

What bought this in to stark reality was the article I read recently in the Daily Mail.

Kristen Scott Thomas one of the UK’s most treasured actresses admitted that she felt ‘invisible’ when surrounded by young actresses and that some people ‘just don’t notice’ women of a certain age.

Admittedly she was comparing herself to young actresses in the Hollywood back drop, an unhealthy environment that perpetuates ageless beauty, a life so far from reality.

She then went onto say that she will ‘just disappear’ now that she has reached middle age.

Ironically it would seem that men age gracefully whilst women appear to ‘just disappear’.

I have empathy for Ms Scott-Thomas and I find myself in unknown territory. I couldn’t help notice that perhaps there is credence in what she says.

She’s right, people do walk into you. I became more aware of this on a recent business trip to London. Men as well as women not holding the door open for me as I walked through it or bumping into me as though I was invisible.

In fact by the time I got into my car to drive home I really felt incensed.

Invisible that’s me, or was it just one of those days when you or everyone else seemingly get in the way.Holidays and families = frustration

Is 50 all that it’s cracked up to be?

Many women want more out of life, personal fulfilment, a new career, a new partner even if it means a complete disregard for personal security, marriage and family.

Two friends have recently hit the 5 0 one is having a meltdown as we speak the other is taking it in her stride.

What makes 50 such an important age defining moment?

Shoot me now I’m 50.

The challenges we faced as young women are in some respects even greater in our 50’s.

50 is synonymous with the ‘menopause’, another life changing moment for the female psyche. Empty nest syndrome, worries about securing pensions and planning for retirement are well on the list of things to be ticked off.

Why should 50 be any different from any other decade or age?

An empty home and only the 2 of you there is the sudden realisation that you’ve got more time than you had LBK [life before kids].

What the heck are you going to talk about the weather or the performance of the FTSE 100 index?

Suddenly you are faced with the prospect of having to go to bed with the same person you’ve been with for however many years and for some women and men this is when the thunder bolt strikes.

Time for new experiences, challenges and maybe a change in partner.

By 50 we have amassed a great deal of knowledge, life experiences and are able to do what we want to do.

There is a conflict for many men and women as there is the desire to abandon all that was once held true to embark on new challenges

Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with him or her?

Nothing has changed has it?

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Earlier this year Relate conducted a survey via Ipsos MORI of people aged 50 and over in Britain. 91% said the key factor in determining how happy our later years will be is our personal relationships and is very important to happiness in retirement.

DivorceInterestingly 1 in 5 over 50 [4 million] said they lacked confidence in forming new relationships which contradicts the trend of the 50 something to up sticks and try new things.

One of the joys of this decade is that you don’t have to give a damn about what people think of you anymore.

Ageing is a more prevalent issue but as children have grown and left the parental home our parents are still able to be independent of us making time to take on new challenges and make life changing decisions.

 

Age is just a number and life begins when you want it to and the media seem to be obsessed with age. Does it really matter if so and so did such and such and is 35 years?

Ageism has become an obsession both on a conscious and unconscious level.

The only way to stop this occupation with age is to stop referring to it in newspapers and magazines and to stop ‘labelling’ the 50 something brigade and get on out there and get on down.

This woman is not ready to quit yet and exchange her Louboutin’s for a pair of sensible boring M & S shoes.

Which is why M & S are failing miserably they seem to think we want to wear sensible clothes and shoes from the classic women range WRONG.

We are not dead yet, we want sensible clothes that befit our age that show our zest for life and not funereal wear.

I get that we need to dress our age within reason [that’s coming in my next blog How not to be your daughter]

Seven out of ten women feel overlooked by the fashion industry and three quarters of women believe they have gained an identity solely as ‘mum’.

This goes against the grain of the current ‘A-list’ 50 something beauties notably Sharon Stone, Michelle Pfeiffer and Kim Basinger who seem to only get better the older they get.

 As far as I’m concerned 50 doesn’t mean you are DEAD it offers greater opportunities for men and women to forge more independence. Dr Pam Spurr says ‘after years of prioritising husbands and families, many women want more out of life as they approach 50. The urge to find personal fulfilment is overwhelming even if it means ditching security and marriage along the way’.
Whilst I don’t intend to leave my beloved YET I definitely intend to embark on new challenges.
50 represents the gateway to more fun and happiness. Moreover we only pass this way once so why shouldn’t we have fun, enjoy life and stop worrying about how old we really are.
After all we are all young at heart.

Let me know what you think about being 50? Has it stopped you from doing what you want to do?

How do you stay young at 50?

Have you completely changed your life or done something crazy?

Please share with us.

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