My darling son
So, here we are, another year, another birthday except this time it is the big 1 8.
It only seemed like yesterday that you came into our world like a ray of sunshine, yet cold and blue having left the warmth and cosiness of the womb in which you grew.
For those first few hours I could not keep my eyes off you, a gorgeous bundle of love and fun.
I held you close and vowed that no one or anything would ever hurt you.
The enormity of what I had created, a new life a living breathing person wasn’t lost on me and I knew that becoming a mother is the greatest gift that can be bestowed upon a woman.
On the second day you gave me your first smile I looked lovingly into your brown eyes and I knew there and then there was a connection, you knew I was your mummy and that I was here to love and cherish you.
I loved you beyond the realms of explanation, it was a love that I had never felt for anyone else, completely different to the love and feelings I have for your dad.
From that day forth, my love like a carefully tendered flower has bloomed for you.
As a toddler you delighted in trying out different things and like your mum, you always needed plenty of sleep. You loved your food especially cake and there wasn’t anything you wouldn’t try.
From toddler to young boy you were reserved, shy and reluctant to push yourself forward.
There have been difficult times for you and that is part of growing up, often overlooked and without the recognition you deserve your frustrations would sometimes spill over.
For the past two years you have achieved many successes and proved to the onlookers who doubted you just how good you truly are and that is down to your hard work and commitment.
Despite setbacks, you continued to work hard; to be resilient, and, as a result you have grown into a fine young man, one that I am proud to say is my son.
Intelligent, articulate, strong and feisty, you always want to have the last word and like every teenager you are of course, never wrong!
I have always known that there was a superstar waiting to burst out and you haven’t proved me wrong.
Every parent thinks their kids are the best and I have been guilty of believing that you were better at things than perhaps you really were.
You are beginning to find your place in life’s rich tapestry and, as you learn and acquire knowledge coupled with life experience, you will learn to cope with life’s ups and downs because you are ready.
It is important to live by the values, morals and discipline that dad and I have taught you.
That you don’t forget the importance of family, friends and especially your brothers.
Be considerate and always respectful of others, even in the face of hostility, aggression and rejection. To be patient, kind and be civil are important human virtues.
Learn to step back and breathe once in awhile and remember that you only pass this way once.
Make the most of your life by having fun and joy with loved ones and is more important than valueless items.
There will be many temptations along the road, be careful and earnest about the life choices you make.
And so it is my darling son that my job as a mother is almost done.
My heart is slowly breaking as I know that we have reached the end of our journey together for it is hard being a mother and a parent.
We will always be here for you and support you whenever you need us.
But you are a young man and it is time for you to make decisions and choose your own way.
Being a mother is emotionally tough as you watch your son grow and leave the family to form new friendships and relationships and there is the realisation that you are no longer the “one”.
It is incredibly hard to let go because I can see that little blonde haired and brown eyed one year old giggling as he puts a fistful of donald duck cake into his mouth.
The love of a mother runs deep and wide and I would sacrifice my life for you in whatever the circumstances.
One day when you become a father you will understand those words, loving a child is an act of selflessness, our love is infinite.
When all is said and done we can look back with satisfaction, share wonderful and beautiful memories of great times spent together.
We must look forward now with excitement and opportunity, what will your next stage of life look like and what path will you travel along?
I have tried to teach you all that I can to prepare you for this world.
You are a young man, an adult and with that comes great responsibility.
It is your job to set a good example to your brother and to others around you, to prove what we’ve always believed, a strong, caring and wonderful human being.
At times you will feel like the world is enormous and that you’ll never find your own way you will be knocked down, but, you will find the effort to get up and try again, don’t give up even when every sinew in your body screams at you to do so.
That is the wonderful thing about being human, our frailty and fragility also makes us strong and steadfast.
Never be afraid to stand up up for what you believe in and never, ever sacrifice your beliefs and what you hold dear to your heart.
I will always be your most trusted friend, your confidant, the person that will cuddle and love you no matter what age, but mostly I’ll always be your mum.
It has been a privilege raising you, loving you, nurturing you and I’ve loved every single second of every single minute, I am proud to be a mum to such a wonderful and beautiful person as you are.
With much love and honesty, always and forever.