I’m just getting into 2014, finally getting to the bottom of the so called task list and then I’m reminded that it’s new years eve and drawing to a close.
What happened to 2014? 
No sooner had christmas come to pass, new years eve crept up on me and said boo from behind.
Granted, I’m not firing on all cylinders having had an operation on my heel bone and achilles tendon which shall we say has left me worse for wear, in pain and on crutches something that I don’t recommend for an OCD control nut like me.
It’s only been 24 hours since returning home from the hospital and I still can’t get big M to load the washing machine the right way and use the correct wash setting.
What am I going to be like in another 2 weeks time?
Back to christmas, well yes where was I?
Once again I missed out on the festivities oh, don’t get me wrong I was THERE all the time big M and I cooked dinner but I find with christmas comes this big anticipated manic anti-climatic rush and then nothing.
That’s N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
I’m not talking about a five gun salute or fireworks going off, this has nothing to do with presents or who you spend christmas with, it’s the whole christmas thing. 
Honestly I get so excited about christmas and then I’m nearly always disappointed when the day arrives.
Too soon it’s over and then I’m left feeling if only, or I wish.
One day, one whole day what am I expecting too happen?
I lie awake in anticipation of the magic of christmas, I love to see the boys get excited. I know they know father christmas is but a figment of the imagination but we love the whole magic of christmas.
Yet at the end of it I’m left feeling disappointed and dejected but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
Is it because I don’t want to ‘enjoy’ christmas too much for that very reason I’ve stated above it’s over so quickly so allowing yourself to get over excited ultimately leads to that feeling of disappointment.
I wonder if my enthusiasm for christmas was quelled by my upbringing as a child, excitement wasn’t a big thing in our house at christmas time.
And every year I swear that I’m going to immerse myself in the whole feeling of christmas, cinnamon, ginger, christmas cake but it never quite happens.
So, here we are again, new years eve, the last day or should I say evening of 2014.
We will shortly be hurtling toward 2015 and another new year.
Each new year brings resolutions, goals, a sense of trepidation and a long list of all the things that you plan to do but inevitably never get around to doing let alone ticking off.
I have two weeks where I can’t drive so that means no school runs and none of the usual running around associated with being a working mum.
Time to rest my dodgy leg, rely on others and big M to do things for me, which will be a real test of my character, undoubtedly my tolerance and patience levels will reach new depths.
But hopefully this ‘down-time’ will allow me to collect my thoughts and decide if 2015 really is going to be ‘my year’ or not.
What will your 2015 look like? Let me know and share what you want to do this year.
Finally A very BIG HAPPY NEW YEAR to those of you who take the time to drop by and read my posts.
