What I've learnt since reaching my 50s
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Don’t look back

2019 crept in slowly and discreetly. 

Had it not been for the amazing London fireworks you could be forgiven for thinking that it wasn’t the beginning of another new year.

When you get to my age they seem to roll around way to quick for my liking.

And yet waking up on the 2nd I still had those butterflies and feelings of trepidation in my stomach.

What now? I thought as the remnants of work-related items spilled over from the end of last year and crept into the forefront of my mind.

In reality, it is another day, in paradise, but this is the UK.

Not looking back over the last year takes courage, champagne, and a hangover, we can’t help looking back on what we did or didn’t do over the past year.

Could I have done anything differently I thought as midnight got ever closer and that feeling of melancholy and nostalgia crept inside of me?

Could 2018 have been better? Should I have relaxed and enjoyed my life more than I do, taken life a little less seriously?

The human psyche is predestined to reflect on last year so that we are able to focus on the new year ahead and decide what we want to achieve.

I am not a person that sets goals rather fly by the seat of my pants, after all, how many goals can you set yourself throughout your time on earth?

I’ve got a job that pays the bills, I can go on holiday and I have a certain amount of financial freedom to buy things I want.

There is too much pressure placed on women ‘to achieve or to try and do more’.

How many more plates can we spin, we have enough to manage as it is and I for one don’t want to be a better version of myself I am who I am, take it or leave it.

My inbox has been rammed with sales imagery on how to get more out of life, how to plan better, how to be a better person.

Who says that I am not at my optimum and that I am truly the best version of me?

Why set goals?

New Year conjures up new resolutions and ideas only for them to be cast aside and forgotten by the end of January as we dive head first into work and all its glorious everyday problems.

Who wants to stick to goals and resolutions when there is so much in the world to worry about?

However, I would like to share with you that I have set myself two goals that I intend to stick to for 90 days.

No spending on any unessential items, no lipstick, no makeup, and no nail gels worse still, no handbags. Just the thought of it…

My husband remarked that things must be slow because I haven’t bought a handbag recently?

What this means to me is that I cannot spend any money until 31 March, purgatory or hell depending on how you look at.

I am so determined to stick to it because I want to prove to myself that I don’t need to buy stuff to make me feel good about myself.

Most of the time we make purchases because they make us feel better but as soon as that initial high has fizzled out, we then start looking for the next thing to make us feel excited. It is short lived and costly.

I am deliberating over removing the Amazon app from my devices because it is tempting to make a purchase that I know I don’t need.

My second goal relates to a quote I found on Pinterest:

Simplicity

Less stuff, less work, less expense
equals more money, more time and more joy.
Less equals more.

Christmas time equals excesses way beyond what we ever really need, we spend too much and then pay the price for it in more ways than one.

No wonder Blue Monday is so synonymous with feeling depressed and blue?

I want to be in the present, the here and now, be mindful of where I am, and not fall into an abyss of worry and stress that seems to permeate all our lives.

When this happens we miss out on what is really important and what makes a difference in our lives like family, the joy of living, looking at the environment that surrounds us and generally being in the here and now.

If any of this resonates with you then I hope we can make the most of now rather than worrying about stuff that we can’t control or change for that matter.

Whilst many of us know what we should do, it doesn’t stop us from worrying but reading the simplicity quote above is a stark reminder of how by standing back, gaining some perspective and taking a long slow breath should make us feel a whole lot better.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year.

Further reading for you

https://onewomansview.co.uk/holiday-stress/

https://onewomansview.co.uk/i-quit-and-its-only-january/

https://onewomansview.co.uk/i-want-a-bit-of-self-care-and-mindfulness-do-you/

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