It’s okay to be completely and utterly dull and ordinary if it makes you happy and content.
What’s wrong with being ordinary?
During the lockdown, I spent more time than I care to mention on social media.
The one thing that struck me was the number of people who have an over-inflated view of themselves and how amazing they think they are.
A constant flow of self-gratification that was shallow and superficial.
As humans, we are already individual, extraordinary and unique.
Was it your mother, your favourite teacher, the best boss, your customers telling you how amazing you are?
You can conquer the world, achieve anything if you really try.
The truth is most of us are ordinary working people trying to make ends meet, raising our children as best as we can.
Many of us want a life that has true meaning so that we can leave our legacy, a life that stands for something.
We want recognition from the boss, our parents and children to prove we’ve achieved.
Does being special add more value or make us feel more important?
We live in a society and a world that suffers with a toxic form of self-obsession.
I’m not sure where this ‘self-culture’ began; it didn’t exist when I was a teenager.
I blame social media for wielding power to a person who can rise from being no one to someone overnight.
The belief that they can be famous for achieving absolutely nothing.
And we can achieve anything if we absolutely put our minds to it.
But for many of us, this is an unrealistic expectation.
And it is not because we are failures.
It might be down to the genetic makeup that we are not movers and shakers or self-starters.
We were robbed or missed opportunities because of bad timing.
We are no more likely to shoot for the moon than aim for the stars.
Yet those around us seem to be able to walk on water, do no wrong and voice their opinions when they have no life experience, and people listen.
Remember School or University?
You slogged and scraped a B, while your friend was consistently late handing in assignments or homework and gained an A?
I remember the annoyance I felt with one friend who would rock up to the lecturer, sorry Mr Anon I won’t get my assignment in on time can I have an extension?
Like butter wouldn’t melt.
She wasn’t amazing or brilliant, she was ordinary, like me.
She was a friend but I could cheerfully strangle her when she got away with her tardy excuses and I knew she would breeze through life and she is.
I am blessed, but I am sure my epitaph will read “tried hard, did her best, but never really succeeded.”
We set unrealistic goals because we are told from birth that if we work hard, we can achieve anything.
We are failures when we don’t reach our goals or expectations because we set the bar too high and are disappointed if we fail.
Who says we’ve failed?
We fall prey to perfectionism perpetuated by social media filled with endless streams of beautiful images.
If you are happy and secure in your own self, why do you need to shout your life out on social media?
People perceive us as successful, but how or what gauges success?
If we compare our success it makes us feel ordinary.
We can’t all be extraordinary not everyone can run a 100m in 9.58 seconds, be a famous scientist and discover a vaccine for the common cold.
From my view, the next time I feel self-critical and self-absorbed in what feels like perpetual failures, I’ll remind myself that I am okay.
I am a good mother and wife and occasionally produce the odd bit of artwork that makes me proud,
I might not be famous for doing anything or have zillions of followers, but I take comfort in what I am and where I am.
My name isn’t in neon lights, but I am living my life my way and not following someone else’s version of how to live.
What about you?