I wished a fond farewell to someone who works in the same building and whom I have known for thirteen years.
And as I watched her walk to the car, arms laden with flowers and good wishes, I couldn’t help think that life is converging to this very point.
I served notice on my office lease at the end of May, and it is peculiar that I am moving out after thirteen years.
These four walls house many happy and sad memories, from anxiety-filled moments to joy and happiness shared with customers alike.
My children had tea in my office before dropping the eldest at the local athletics track.
And when they were ill, they lay on my comfortable office sofa, quietly sleeping or watching TV, comforted by the knowledge they were with me.
It feels like fate, the universe and the stars are aligned; it is the right time to start something new.
The next stage of my life is in front and not behind me.
There are a few days until my younger son finishes school for the summer.
My eldest is graduating from University with two years decimated by the pandemic.
It is hard watching him make light of what should have been a wonderful and joyful life experience.
The past two years are hazy at best, with few memories of summer spent in the UK and not our beloved Spain.
Moving on, whether from the loss of a loved one to moving house and leaving cherished friends and neighbours, is hard.
We all look forward to some excitement and more trepidation, but why is it hard to let go?
If you haven’t asked this question at least once in your life, then you are more fortunate than I.
When life is changing and moving on, we are left reeling.
Think about the time when your son or daughter left for University.
How did it make you feel?
Or the time you lost a loved one and mourned for their loss?
Letting go is hard; whether letting go of the feelings associated with those memories or moving on from a bad relationship, we mourn because it feels like a loss—a loss of things you had wished and hoped for or freeing yourself from past issues.
Letting go is complicated because of the memories we have.
We hold on to the past because it reminds us of special moments, and we want to enjoy those times all over again, smell and touch them.
We cling to the future in hope because we envision what that future looks like with our partner or what our career might be like five years from now.
The past is the past, and we know we must leave it there, yet we project the past into our future lives because we want things to remain as they are in the here and now.
We want to hold on to that time a bit longer because it makes us feel secure and content.
What are we holding onto?
What is stopping us from moving on?
Our memories last an eternity.
They sustain us as we move on with our lives, and while it feels that that time is lost, we can draw comfort from the past because it will always be a part of us.
This acceptance brings calmness and comfort.
We know that the past is there whenever we need to draw upon its memories.
It sustains and nourishes us when we need it.
Letting go means we are in touch with our innermost feelings and that we acknowledge it is time to move on finally.